I took the last couple of weeks for a recharge as I went home to spend time with family for The-Holiday-I-Shall-Not-Name. After coming back to Windsor for a few days, I took a whirlwind trip to Toronto for the NHL Centennial hockey game on the 1st – what a way to spend New Years Day.
So, let’s cover what needs to be covered – 2016 was a dumpster fire. Great moments and memories, don’t get me wrong, but overall the bad outweighed the good. The bad – breaking up with my poly boyfriend at the beginning of the year and my husband asking for a divorce at the end of the year. The good – starting this blog and my online knitting persona, a good job, good moments with friends and family, and a lot of once-in-a-lifetime moments (meeting my favourite band and Sailor Moon). These things have happened and, good or bad, they are in the past and set in stone.
Going forward? One day at a time. That’s the mantra for the year. Every single thing in my life, take it one day at a time: work, knitting, cleaning, ED recovery, divorce proceeding, anything else that happens – one day at a time. Tomorrow is a different day, with different possibilities and such. Today is a bad day? I don’t have to bring that into tomorrow unless I choose. Good day? I can keep those memories alive and bring them forward. But anything that’s happening I can do today, or I can say “Not Today” and move it to another day. I can say that I can’t do this in the moment, that I need more time, that I can make a more concrete plan to get the job done. A great thing about my job is all of it stays there … I don’t have to take it home with me. I can give myself an hour or two for knitting. I can give myself an hour for cleaning. I can give myself time that says “nope, not doing anything right now”.
This is the best gift I can give myself this year. After everything that has happened in my life, it’s time to focus on me. I spent a lot of time worrying about others, wondering how things affected them, and making sure they were okay. I do struggle with putting myself first and being that self-driven, as I’ve seen first hand the extreme of that, which is a self-absorbed selfish person … and I resolved to never be that. But choosing what’s best in my life, stepping back from things that are not helpful, and reaching out when people offer it to let them know I need extra help … I’ve been trying to do that over the last month. I’d like to think I’m succeeding. I can feel a bit of my knitting mojo coming back … not fully, but the desire to make is there, so I’m jumping on it (though it helps that my Harry Potter nerd game has started back up again).
A group I’m in on Ravelry (though I’m not very talkative in it), does monthly plans: JanPlan, FebPlan, and so on. This year I’m adapting that idea, as well as other goals and plans I’ve created (with spreadsheets to track, because NERD). So, the JanPlan: clean a little, declutter a little, do a bit of mojo searching, and keep things to one day at a time.
I got this. You got this. We got this.