Birthday Eve

As a Type A(+) planner, there is nothing I like more than beginnings. Beginnings feel like the perfect time to start something new, to set goals and execute them, to have a fresh start at something. To me, there has always been three beginnings that occur yearly: New Years, the start of a new school year, and my birthday. Tonight is one of those nights as it is Birthday Eve. Tomorrow, I am officially 33 years old. Old enough to have seen some things, young enough for so much to come. A middle ground, if you will, of life – not crisis level, mind you, but still able to set huge life goals and achieve them without feeling like I’ve wasted my life.

happy-birthday-1

I like to use this particular “new year” to reflect on what has happened during the last year of my life, and what I can look forward to. As for the 3rd year in a row, a year in my 30s has not disappointed to live up to Big Things Happening: a promotion at work, a finalized divorce, another notch in my recovery belt, a new relationship, big moves in my bowling career, and a cat (FINALLY). There was also the downsides, namely more stress and anxiety than I’ve been used to. But for the first time in my 30s my personal summation of my year has been positive, and not just trying to look on the bright side of things. Even though the past few years have had struggles I still found the positives and noted that the changes, no matter how painful, were for the better, hindsight being what she is. This year I didn’t accomplish as many goals as I may have laid out for myself, but I saw big moves in other areas of my life and instead of beating myself up for not sticking to the plan I’m congratulating myself on going with the flow … on taking life a bit more one-day-at-a-time and accepting that adding someone new to my life meant other things fell to the wayside as I let myself get caught up in new love energy and swept away with it for the first time in awhile. And though it is definitely still around me things have also settled a bit more than I can start making new plans.

So what does 33 have in store for me, you ask? MOAR BIG THINGS.
Firstly, BF and I plan to move. I hate moving with every part of myself. I am thankful to have not moved a ton in my life, but the time is right. I’ve been thinking about getting out of my apartment for awhile, despite it’s beautiful aesthetic and can’t-be-beat rent … but the addition of another person and cat to my household, on top of possible future plans, means more space is desirable. So I will be moving for the first time since I came to Windsor. 8+ years is more than enough in one space and I’m ready for a home that is ours.

Get back to knitting. It’s time I picked up my sticks again. I’ve put them down for a long time, and while I’ve enjoyed not feeling required or obligated to knit I’m getting the itch again and know I need to get back at it. I do need to work on finding that motivation again, but I expect to knit great things in the coming year.

Travel needs to happen. I need to get more frequently out of my city and not just to go home to visit family (which is great, don’t get me wrong). But I need to travel more for me. My limited vacation days may not allow me to travel all over the world … but a weekend trip to Michigan, a long weekend away in Ottawa or Toronto … these are things I need to do. I need a break from expectations and responsibilities, just for a moment, to realign and reset. I’ve been go-go-go, do what’s required since my separation and now I can move into time away for myself before the next big life changing event happens.

There are some other plans in the works, mostly things I can’t yet speak of because they have yet to happen and I’m not entirely sure they’ll happen in the next year, but I feel pretty good about my coming year. I feel in a good place and happy. After my world was turned upside down a few years ago I feel like I’ve righted myself again, but I did it in my own way, for myself, without relying on a significant other. I became my own person again, someone I like more and more with each passing day.

So Happy Birthday Eve, and cheers to entering my mid-thirties!

~ J

 

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