In recovery, like everything else, a solitary event can change your path or course. Both good and bad, it is something you might only notice in hindsight. The last 6 weeks have been like that; as I read back to see what my last few entries were on, knowing how things have occurred, it's curious … Continue reading The Unplannable
Today is a very emotionally charged day for me. While I've attempted multiple times to write about some of these topics I can't seem to have the words flow like I'm used to. So here are some things in point-form to help me get started. Things I know to be true: - Almost six years … Continue reading Sit Back. Relax. Relapse.
At first you aren't sure it's there. Blink and you'll miss it. You might unconsciously stroke your chest, an idle itch. A nagging feeling, a lingering wonder. You carry on with your work day, trying to soldier pass the worry. Your clothes don't feel comfortable any more. Your breath hitches and catches slightly. Is your … Continue reading The Anxiety Weight
For the last few weeks I've attempted to write out my thoughts about some topics. I started the entry, thought of a vaguely clever title, but the words never flowed. What few came out where disjointed and jumbled. I walked away for a couple of days, only for something else to happen that I felt … Continue reading Unfocused
After posting my last blog entry I leaned back on the couch, munching on a delicious slice of pizza, and feeling exceptionally proud of myself. Truthfully, I would have been proud no matter how that entry had turned out, but I was excited to see my thought process shifting. To know it's less the flowery … Continue reading W. A. R.
At the end of January one of my best friends got married. This was easily the classiest wedding I've ever been to. She got married at the Henry Ford Museum, which I do mean to visit because it's just that cool. I took BF with me and while we had a harrowing adventure just to … Continue reading Shame Game
Mr Anderson: We accept the love we think we deserve. Charlie: Can we make them know that they deserve more? Mr Anderson: We can try. - Stephen Chbosky, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" While browsing Netflix this afternoon I stopped on this movie and they played this quote in their preview. I know this … Continue reading We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve
This week has been quite emotional. As I read more and more of Body Positive Power I feel my eyes opening more and more. Like my last post, laying it all out in one place can be a powerful way to really see the big picture. But more importantly this book was giving me pause. When … Continue reading SMRT Goals
I started reading Body Positive Power. I've read about 40 pages at this point. I did not expect those pages to drop me to my knees so quickly, to peel back the scab of things I thought long healed. I felt vulnerable reading those pages ... not because of anything necessarily profound it was saying - … Continue reading Disordered Recovery
I plan a lot. I like making plans and seeing them come together. I like making plans to make plans. And sometimes I make goals. But as good as I am about seeing my plans from start to finish, I can't always say the same for my goals. I love the idea of goals, but … Continue reading Breaking The Wheel